wikialityfandomcom-20200214-history
French-Canadians
They are the ungodly spawn of the worst countries in the world, who are worse than the French surrender monkeys because as Canadians they can only ask questions and never can take a side, and are worse than Canadians because they smell like the French. A group of foul smelling, bearded, lumberjacking, poutine eating, syrup sucking, seal clubbing, plaid wearing, igloo dwelling canadians who are able but just don't want to speak Frenchstuck on Angliche-speak History of the Angliche-Canadians There are many theories on how such an unholy union between the Angliche and the Canadians was created, but what is known is that they are lumberjacks. And possibly evil. *One possible theory involves a Canadian, drunk off of maple syrup and hockey, went out for his usual evening mating fun with the local bears. But on his way, he stumbled across a group of the Angliche, hiding cowardly from a war...or a donut...or something and the Angliche-Canadian was born. *Another theory contends that Colonial settlers had accidentally sailed to Canada on route to America seeing a settlement they approached but it was an Angliche settlement who immediately surrendered the entire country to the wayward colonists. Naively they took the country which they did not know was forsaken by God and bear ridden. They then placed all the deaf and dumb Angliche in the area now known as Ontario. Unfortunately they were corrupted by the Brits which is why the settlers did not join America. Angliche Canadians now abound in Canada Payback to the Angliche-Canadians for being Angliche-Canadian Canada's Phone Number: 1-800-O-CANADA (1-800-622-6232) Call them and pull the following prank call: YOU: Your cat is on my fence. CANADA: I don't have a cat. YOU: Well, I don't have a fence. Then hang up. Let's get the entire nation prank calling Canada until it gets a cat! Angliche-Canadian Trivia *Due to their enormous size and inability to handle a razor, the women are often mistaken for bears or fur balls. *They will be the last people to be conquered during the great bear uprising of 2012. *Angliche Canadians are decended from a group of women sent to the New World from London, known as the "King's Daughters" some of whom were "actresses." Clearly, even from an early stage, the Rosbifs was trying to pass off their insidious, permissive culture on New-France. Sadly, it succeeded in this regard in America. Somehow Canadians ended up with just the bears. *Not to be confused with the Ancliche, their language is 100% different and unintelligible. In fact, it's called Angliche and very easy to learn. Example: If you see a cute Alberta girl, it is proper Angliche to say: -''Motha Fucka'' (Mo-tha-fuk-a) which means: You have wonderful eyes -''Yo Bitch'' (Yo-Bitch) which means : Your beauty is incomparable -''You Suck?'' (Yu-Suck) which means :Is it me, or is this room lit by your very presence? *Angliche-Canadians are also known to have received enlightenment from the states below them (geographically) and risen up to the dictatorship of a 4 o'clock tea-time; thus igniting a to-be-finished fight between them and bear-loving Canadians. See Also *Ontario *Canadians *Canada *Angliche *England *[Canadian *Orangemen